I know what you’re thinking. “There was a homeless guy singing on the train? Sweet!” Close, but not really that close.

I’m just going to come out with it. Men should never have musical ringtones that can be heard in public. I would even go a step further to say that a man’s phone should always be set to vibrate when in public. The short of it comes down to nearly all audible ringtones being obtrusive and annoying to everyone else around you. The long of it is as follows:

I walk into Subway today and order a delicious looking Orchard Chicken Salad sandwhich on Honey Oat bread. I work my way through the mine field of toppings hoping I don’t choose something that will grenade the taste of my delectable lunch and finally make it to the cash register. “Chips & a drink?” Yes, please. Just as I think the hard part is behind me, I come face to face with what will surely be the most difficult decision of my day. Cherry Coke or Sweet Tea? I’m not ashamed to say that I took far too long to decide, but as I began to watch the fizzy cascade of Cherry Coca Cola flow over the ice-cold ice, my moment of relishing the ability to firmly commit to a beverage was shattered by George Strait singing about being a Troubadour. I turned to see a 40 year old man answering his phone.

These thoughts followed:

“Well that’s annoying, and I even like George Strait.”

“How could I take that guy seriously?”

“How can his co-worker sitting across from him take him seriously?”

“I hope his wife or kids put that ringtone on his phone, and he just doesn’t know how to change it.”

“No, he probably asked his kids to put it on there for him.”

“Yes, I can probably blog about this later.”

“I wish I wasn’t so judgemental… but… facts are facts.”

Anyway, here is the hard and fast rule: A gentleman should always keep his cellular device set to vibrate.

Of course there are exceptions to rules. The following is certainly not exhaustive.

1. You are intentionally trying to annoy people.

2. You are in a loud public place. (Please use a standard ringtone if absolutely necessary.)

3. You are at home, and your phone is in another room.

4. You are trying to impress someone. (Hint: If they have passed college-age maturity, they will not be impressed.)

These are the ground rules. And this is the truth.

Agree or disagree? Exceptions to add?