It’s that time of year again. If you are like me, you have a sizeable number of people in your life that live their life on the academic calendar year. You might even be one of those people yourself. If you happen to be one of those people that is still in school, then I envy you and pity you at the same time. If you are one of those people have chosen this life as a profession, then my envy slightly outweighs my pity. But the person I pity above all others this time of year is not the student, not the teacher, not the babysitters or daycare workers that have just lost 75% of their income, not even the truancy officers that have to track down delinquents and force them to better their future, it’s the commuter that has to drive through school zones in the morning. My pity for this person increases exponentially based on the number of school zones they must endure each day. I have no idea how a ten mile per hour reduction in speed can cause the frustration and mass hysteria that it achieves. The following are some thoughts that might be thunk while puttering through school zones this week:
1. Awe shoot! Flashing yellow lights! Is it 7:15 already?! I am sooo late. Stupid school zone. If I had left on time this morning, I would have missed this whole mess by 10 minutes.
2. Oh great! Here comes the crossing guard. She thinks she’s sooo important in that stupid little orange vest with her flimsy cardboard stop sign. I’ll tell her what she can do with that stop sign.
3. What?! She stopped traffic for ONE kid?!? This is rediculous. And of course he’s in a wheel chair. Can’t he wheel himself a little faster? Are you kidding me?! He just dropped his lunch box. Now he is just taunting me. “Taunt THIS Wheels! (gesturing out the window)” What nerve. Unbelieveable.
4. Oh hey, that’s Jim from my church small group in the lane next to me. I hope he didn’t see or hear what I just did or said. Oh thank goodness we’re moving again. Wait a second! Jim just cut me off! That jerk!! I’m sure he saw me and did that on purpose. I’m going to totally out him in front of everyone at church next week. He’ll never know what hit him. What a punk!
5. Dangit! Do I still have that Jesus fish on the back of my car? I meant to take it off at the end of the summer.
Do you suffer through school zones?