If you are a living, breathing, human being over the age of eighteen, there is a good chance you’ve been the victim of a marriage bully. If you are not a human being and read or subscribe to this blog, then I’d like to assure you SOS is a friend to all animals, aliens, inanimate objects and bots. If you are under eighteen, then you have been warned and can take proper measures to preempt the bullying that no doubt awaits you*. 

You see the marriage bully is the worst kind of bully. This person can intentionally or unintentionally put you in very uncomfortable situations. If you are in the single boat, you may get the occasional well intentioned but unwelcome comment.

“So Johnny, when are you going to find yourself a nice girl to marry?”

This might be annoying, but generally harmless.

The real zinger is when Great Aunt Mildred keeps bringing up the m-word with your boyfriend or girlfriend. This is the ultimate in awkward relational circumstances, especially when you and your squeeze are unsure of the relationship’s current status.

So what’s the pinnacle of this meddling messenger of marriage? The sad reality is that more often than not the bullied becomes the bully. It’s unfortunately much like hazing. You had to suffer through it, and now that you’re married, you just can’t wait for opportunities to stick it to your single or dating friends.

This is the kind of person I’m married to, a marriage bully of the worst kind. We were out with some friends when my wife jumped all over an incredibly weak and sketchy conversational segue: “Speaking of wedding cake… Huh??? Huh?? ;)”

It was embarrassing. My own spouse. A bully. I still can’t quite get my mind around it. How did it come to this? Was this a one time thing? Will more innocent singles have to suffer? I can hardly stand the thought.

Have you ever been the victim of a marriage bully? Have you victimized someone else?

*You can fight back against marriage bullying. Get married as soon as you turn eighteen. Better yet, many states have exceptions for marrying even younger with parental consent. Do yourself a favor. Don’t be a victim.